First, I think it is important to define housewife. According to Urban Dictionary, as posted word for word by someone living in today's culture, a housewife is:
| 1. | housewife | |
"A woman who stays home to take care of the house, the kids, the husband and the pets. She works up a sweat, has anxiety attacks and burst into tears when a 2 year old says "no!" for the 100th time that day after having to picking up dog poop from the livingroom floor, washing 3 loads of laundry, washed all the dishes, went grocery shopping with 2 screaming kids, who get sick and throw up in the middle of the store. Then she comes home ,cleans up the kids, starts to make dinner with both kids hanging on her leg, only to have it burn. She recieves no thanks from anyone and gets no paycheck." | ||
This definition seems accurate except for the reality that so many women today expect, are expected to, expect of themselves (that line is a bit blurry), (based on the ideal housewife identity that hangs like a fathom overhead) to flawlessly balance a career as well, blending the "career woman" readymade with the "housewife readymade". Even the single mother measures herself to the same age old housewife ideal. Well,...
Whether we look to June Cleaver, Marge Simpson, Betty Crocker, Michelle Obama, or Martha Stuart, we see the model housewife. She is slim, can cook a complete meal in a "jiffy", keeps her husband happy, rears well adjusted kids...on and on and on... Yes, we all know this is probably an illusion: these women aren’t really flawless, (and Martha Stuart went to jail, and Angelina Jolie has nannies), but those realities aren’t part of the readymade identity that we plug these women into. We believe, thanks to this cultural readymade identity, that these women are perfect housewives, and we strive to fit into that role. Why? Because, "as children, we love to have the same stories read to us over and over" (Ramage,55). The innate need to be "the familiar" resides in all of us. We want to be the familiar. We must be the familiar because, "the more members of [our] class ""stay in [our] place"" and behave in conformity with the expectations of [our] type, the more fondly and patronizingly [our] "betters" view us (Ramage, 65). How disheartening.
We believe in this conformity because of the media. We are bombarded by images of flawless housewives everyday on sitcoms, and in advertisements. We are supposed to be superhuman supermoms with super clean houses. And when we inevitably fall short of this supposedly attainable flawless housewife identity, it really feels like failure. Is it even fair (and not in the childish sense of the word) to compare an everyday woman to the HOUSEWIFE? "AAAAAAAAhhhh (sparkles)."
A saying like,"The Dishes Can Wait, Childhood Cannot", hints at the dysfunctional ideal the "housewife" readymade really is. Let's use myself for example. If I find myself, as a mother, comparing the cleanliness of my kitchen to that spotless kitchen we all know as June Cleaver's, no matter how much I scrub, this "Cleaver-esque" model kitchen will never be achieved. Meanwhile, while I feel less than par (measured back to back with the "housewife readymade"), and up to my elbows in cleaning solution, my kids are left feeling neglected. We know this is an unhealthy dynamic and yet the instinct to be Martha Stuart or as close to her perfection as possible is still overwhelming. I think Tracy Chapman's song, Woman's Work speaks for itself when she sings,
"Early in the morning she rises
The woman's work is never done
And it's not because she doesn't try
She's fighting a battle with no one on her side".
Chapman is suggesting that a woman just can't get up early enough! And with the rise of feminism and women's suffrage, women have become over burdened because June Cleaver is no longer the modern woman's housewife icon. Look at Angelina Jolie:
Now on top of all the expectations of the 1950s housewife, today's ideal housewife, would have a career, an informed political opinion, and a charitable hobby. (I know I have time to volunteer at the soup kitchen after I've worked all day, made dinner for the family, done the dishes, and helped the kids with their homework.)
So where did this identity originate and how did we find ourselves in a place where the term "desperate housewife" is an all too well understood phrase? Who's interests does this identity serve?
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| Bree from Desperate Housewives is our modern day June Cleaver who so desperately tries to save face in the eyes of her neighbors and maintain an overly perfect housewife image no matter what. |
Perhaps the image of the model housewife was contrived after WWII to bring women back from the factories and into the home; a welcome thought for a war weary country and war weary soldiers alike. Propaganda during the war threw the "We Can Do It" slogan at women like it was going out of style to get them into pants and put them into factories. After the war, the female icon saying,"We Can Do It" put her pants in the back of her closet, donned hair curlers, and an apron, and started popping out casseroles and babies. It was this historical time, and the drastic change from a country desperate for woman's labor, to a country with returned soldiers in need of wives. The end of the war and the return of the men put women out of their jobs. Could it be that after so much propaganda to get the women out of the home and into the work force, it's no wonder it took a hardcore housewife identity to get women back into the kitchen?
Or, maybe a simpler kind of reasoning is responsible here...if being a housewife really is as all consuming as I think we all know it to be, maybe the image has to be hyped up, so that woman getting into it think they are signing up for something glorious and easy. If the truth were told, that being a housewife today demanded as much as it really does, it's a possibility that less women might find themselves bearing children or married, or would at least not hold false expectations close to their hearts (but that would be bad for the economy and the state). This example from the "we can do it" industrial woman to the "we can do it" housed wife phenomena qualifies, as Ramage points out, as one of many ""novels of ideas" so heavily loaded toward a particular ideology that they are barely distinguishable from political tracts"(75). I don't think I even need to point out here that the economy would suffer a severe blow if the housewives of America boycotted Maytag or Black and Decker.
So how do women today combat the ever encroaching mold of the model housewife? Here is a step by step instruction on how to "live a little" as a modern house wife written by a real woman in today's modern age. No need to be so "1950s"...or are we still playing "Leave it to Beaver"?
How to be a modern housewife.
User-Submitted Article
Today's housewife usually holds an outside job too. So life is different than it was in the 1950's and no more over worked, over whelmed lifestyle not shared with the other half!
Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions
Things You'll Need:
- Courage.
- An open mind.
- A little mental instability!
1The alarm goes off for the whole family and everyone is trying to get ready at once. You are up and in the shower first while hubby gets the kids going. When you finish in the shower and finish your hair and makeup he can have the bathroom or build his own.
If he is snippy about you getting in the shower first he can always use the hose outside to wash.
2Breakfast is a great microwave combo and lite. No one over eats anymore during the first light of morning. It's bad for your health and hard to stay awake. Everyone throws out the microwave dishes or they put their own in the dishwasher. Before going out the door to work you start the dishwasher so the dishes are clean when you get home.
3He takes the youngest to the sitter and you take the older to school. Then it's off to work for you to help earn the living just like he does.
4When the kids get out of school they are to come home and clean the house some. It won't hurt them to vacuum the carpet, wipe down all the bathrooms and sinks and sweep the kitchen floor.
5As you are driving home you already have dinner planned. Once in the drive way hug the kids, the hubby and the dog. Go to your room and change into something loose and comfortable. Take your hair down and wash you face with cool water.
6Put dinner in the over while hubby starts a load of laundry. Then you both sit down while the kids do a little homework and have yourself a glass of wine! Relax for a few minutes and talk to the man you married until it's time for him to change the laundry to the dryer and start another load.
7You can put dinner on the table while everyone grabs their own plates and utensils. Have a relaxing meal with music in the background. Talk to each other! Even if it's a fast meal you can still get in a good conversation.
8Everyone cleans the table and puts the dishes in the dishwasher that is now empty because the kids put the clean dishes away when they got home from school! Time for dessert! Nothing is better than a good old fashioned apply pie bought at the grocery store last shopping trip.
9During the weeks everyone supports team efforts, plays, games, music lessons and whatever else you have the kids in. On weekends it's time to work together to get the rest of the cleaning and responsibilities done.
If the kids don't want to help then they don't get the nice clothes they want when it comes time. They also get grounded!
If hubby complains he is tired after working and you should do it all because you are the wife tell him fine and for every extra job you do during the week is 2 hours of spa time on the weekend!
10The modern wife will make a list for everyone in the family and what their job is so there isn't any fighting with the kids to do something or trying to figure out why the hubby can't see what needs to be done! prevent yourself the stress and anger. Just give them a list and tell them to have it done in an hour. Ready, set, go!
11Be in charge and don't let anyone boss you around into their personal servant. Everyone has to help and you are not to take over just because it's easier than arguing with them.
They will have their list and they will do the work same as you.
Ahhh... the modern woman.
Still over worked, over whelmed and finally able to relax and love life a little more than in 1950!
Read more: How to be a modern housewife. | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4551931_be-modern-housewife.html#ixzz10yxHXfRf
Okay, so, the modern housewife still doesn't seem that different to me, in fact, she is still delusional about how little she works. Even though the author attempts at freeing the housewife of some of her work load by reassigning things tho the "hubby" and the children, notice that she is still the planner of it all, she is the one assuring that everything gets done. This ultimately makes her responsible when things get left undone. She is still the very martyr that she is convincing herself in this article that she doesn't have to be. She must realize that the kids aren't really going to "ready, set, go" and work as hard as she does?? I wish I could say that the modern housewife does have a more modern sense about what a ridiculous set of expectations lies on her shoulders. But honestly, based on the contemporary ad campaigns still counting on the housewife's dollars, the input from real modern women that are only briefly represented here in this blog, and the fact that responsibilities have not only stayed the same since the 1950s, but become even more unattainable for the REAL woman, I can't believe that today's woman stands a chance at saying "no" to it all.
I hope that in reading this blog, I have successfully challenged a "defective readymade" and that some day, the housewife identity will no longer be available to women when creating their self image or the image they show the world. Let the casserole burn.
